writing down before I lose it!
Okay. So we all know I don't have any concrete direction and it may or may not be slowly driving me to madness, but thats besides the point...and a little over dramatic. BUT! I THINK...Im reaching a point where I am at least figuring out what I can and cannot see myself doing, whereas a year ago I couldnt see myself doing anything.
I still have that problem, but we dont have to talk about that.
Things I do/don't want:
GIVEN/MOST OBVIOUS ANSWER EVER: I DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT want to be an artist. That's the one relief I have. How exciting! I want to create, but not really my own work in the 'artist' sense. I'd rather be responsible for representing other artists? maybe.
--I do want to eventually be 'business-savvy' enough to represent artists/do appraisals or something. At least try the commercial side of things/scout out talent. Im a snob with strong/specific-and I think good taste-maybe I can use that for some good.
--Be part of a team.
With the exception of recent group projects, I think I work best in a team setting and in general I think these are most effective (unless everyone in the group runs around like chickens with their heads cut off. But that's why we have leadership :) )
This is why I would want to go into something creative, like production/writing/ something where we produce a product. Whatever that means.
--Ideally, something that isn't just sitting at a desk. Something collaborative, something where I could travel. (um..acquisitions/registrar at a museum? I will gladly escort that Roth painting to god-knows-where, sure!)
--Not be a lacky. Nothing makes me feel more insignificant than being a the bottom of the barrel with no hope for air. Just sayin. Even though you gotta start somewhere....
--Write, but not necessarily for academics
I'm not the world's best writer, but I enjoy it. What I don't enjoy is over-stuffed academia that only operates within that small network anyway. I can't see myself getting into academia anytime soon, but maybe eventually. After I "know what i'm talking about".
--Wait: retract. Teaching.
Im sure at some point I will teach art, even if it's for free at a summer camp. And if it's art, as in, the practice of art, I need to do it for younger age groups. I hate children....but that's when I think it matters most. Especially for kids that don't have an interest in anything or have trouble engaging. Photography did that for my sister, and I've seen it in other kids and it's too important to leave to people who dont care. Maybe high school....eeeeech!!!
--Teaching, part 2.
If I teach art history , on the other hand, which maybe I could do at some point (when i regain stable confidence in my intellectual capacity to teach and articulate thoughts outside of 'cool'.), it will have have have to be at a college level . And it would be something outside of the standard slide-analyze-slide-write-analyze-classroom structure. It would be something that incorporates "practical, real world" issues and skills. Classic AH training is fine, but I always wanted something outside of the bubble. I hate feeling naive and unprepared for, um, life.
--Publication?
Cooking or art. or both? I love art books and cook books and layout design even if I have no actual graphic design knowledge. But I need to learn.
--Work for a non-profit
I dont know what this means yet, but this fundraising and marketing schtick might be worth looking into.
Sustainable food or art related.
--Admissions at a University.
Yep.
I hate bureaucracy, I hate administrative anything, really; but if i end up going into academics, I want this to be on my wrap sheet. I hate college as a money-grubbing institution, but I really do believe in it otherwise. The doors it opens for students, the opportunities, and I want to have influence in that. Specifically in scholarships. Admissions counselor at an art college would be SICK. omg.
--Hollistic health/Nutrition
I wish I had the pre-reqs to pursue some things. But this will always be something I keep in my life, whether or not its participating for my own well-being or making it part of my profession. I plan to stick with yoga, at the very least. And I know most yoga instructors have it as their side job because they love it. Im not saying I'm going to up and be a yoga instructor, but hey...
--Culinary anything!
who knows.
--German something or other! Art?
I love it. I need to learn German. on my own. That's that.
--Be an expert in my field, whatever that may be.
I like that I know a little bit about a lot of things, but I want to eventually figure out what I like enough to really take it to the next level.
and hopefully make enough money to not have a total nervous breakdown when I have to go to the dentist :)
--------------------------
Im SO horribly, violently sick of being poor. I feel like I'll never get out of it. I wish it wasn't a fear I have, and mostly I wish I wasn't already so familiar with it, but I can't help it. It's fine to pursue things you 'love' but if you dont have money, it just makes everything so much more stressful. Does it balance out? I really really hope so.
We'll just have to see.
I still have that problem, but we dont have to talk about that.
Things I do/don't want:
GIVEN/MOST OBVIOUS ANSWER EVER: I DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT want to be an artist. That's the one relief I have. How exciting! I want to create, but not really my own work in the 'artist' sense. I'd rather be responsible for representing other artists? maybe.
--I do want to eventually be 'business-savvy' enough to represent artists/do appraisals or something. At least try the commercial side of things/scout out talent. Im a snob with strong/specific-and I think good taste-maybe I can use that for some good.
--Be part of a team.
With the exception of recent group projects, I think I work best in a team setting and in general I think these are most effective (unless everyone in the group runs around like chickens with their heads cut off. But that's why we have leadership :) )
This is why I would want to go into something creative, like production/writing/ something where we produce a product. Whatever that means.
--Ideally, something that isn't just sitting at a desk. Something collaborative, something where I could travel. (um..acquisitions/registrar at a museum? I will gladly escort that Roth painting to god-knows-where, sure!)
--Not be a lacky. Nothing makes me feel more insignificant than being a the bottom of the barrel with no hope for air. Just sayin. Even though you gotta start somewhere....
--Write, but not necessarily for academics
I'm not the world's best writer, but I enjoy it. What I don't enjoy is over-stuffed academia that only operates within that small network anyway. I can't see myself getting into academia anytime soon, but maybe eventually. After I "know what i'm talking about".
--Wait: retract. Teaching.
Im sure at some point I will teach art, even if it's for free at a summer camp. And if it's art, as in, the practice of art, I need to do it for younger age groups. I hate children....but that's when I think it matters most. Especially for kids that don't have an interest in anything or have trouble engaging. Photography did that for my sister, and I've seen it in other kids and it's too important to leave to people who dont care. Maybe high school....eeeeech!!!
--Teaching, part 2.
If I teach art history , on the other hand, which maybe I could do at some point (when i regain stable confidence in my intellectual capacity to teach and articulate thoughts outside of 'cool'.), it will have have have to be at a college level . And it would be something outside of the standard slide-analyze-slide-write-analyze-classroom structure. It would be something that incorporates "practical, real world" issues and skills. Classic AH training is fine, but I always wanted something outside of the bubble. I hate feeling naive and unprepared for, um, life.
--Publication?
Cooking or art. or both? I love art books and cook books and layout design even if I have no actual graphic design knowledge. But I need to learn.
--Work for a non-profit
I dont know what this means yet, but this fundraising and marketing schtick might be worth looking into.
Sustainable food or art related.
--Admissions at a University.
Yep.
I hate bureaucracy, I hate administrative anything, really; but if i end up going into academics, I want this to be on my wrap sheet. I hate college as a money-grubbing institution, but I really do believe in it otherwise. The doors it opens for students, the opportunities, and I want to have influence in that. Specifically in scholarships. Admissions counselor at an art college would be SICK. omg.
--Hollistic health/Nutrition
I wish I had the pre-reqs to pursue some things. But this will always be something I keep in my life, whether or not its participating for my own well-being or making it part of my profession. I plan to stick with yoga, at the very least. And I know most yoga instructors have it as their side job because they love it. Im not saying I'm going to up and be a yoga instructor, but hey...
--Culinary anything!
who knows.
--German something or other! Art?
I love it. I need to learn German. on my own. That's that.
--Be an expert in my field, whatever that may be.
I like that I know a little bit about a lot of things, but I want to eventually figure out what I like enough to really take it to the next level.
and hopefully make enough money to not have a total nervous breakdown when I have to go to the dentist :)
--------------------------
Im SO horribly, violently sick of being poor. I feel like I'll never get out of it. I wish it wasn't a fear I have, and mostly I wish I wasn't already so familiar with it, but I can't help it. It's fine to pursue things you 'love' but if you dont have money, it just makes everything so much more stressful. Does it balance out? I really really hope so.
We'll just have to see.
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