As Sunday approaches? One of many thoughts.

{Disclaimer: i know its ridiculous and I'll probably be smacked for this, but for some reason this thought/concern/etc wont leave my head}:

I've always been sort of weary of dating [one of my favorite words]... a deadbeat. And I've had enough friends date them to solidify this fear.
You know, the one that 'isn't going anywhere', is happy settling, and wants nothing out of life? Those types. Usually they're way too old for you and it's just weird in general, but you know.


I have never dated a deadbeat, nor do I plan to, nor am I currently, but the problem w/ this scenario is that I never thought I'd be the deadbeat.

I've always been pretty confident about how other people (or parents) think of me. Usually I'd say I have a lot going for me, and people see that, but Im not so sure at present.

I don't know what I want. I feel like Im drifting....Mostly I just feel transparent and ambition-less.
And I dont know how I feel about the thought of people being able to see that (or their stupid judgment!)