Kurt.

There was a time when you took up almost every second of my day. I thought of you always. But now I almost feel guilty for not thinking of you all the time. Im not sure how much of a good thing that is--I have forgotten so much already. So many details that I want so desperately to remember. But I began to understand very quickly that if I kept thinking of you constantly I wouldn't be able to move on. I still try to find middle ground sometimes.

Despite all the hell Ive gone through this past year, I am grateful for what I've gained--how my perspective on things and people has changed . I thoroughly believe in true connections, that someone can impact you on such a deep level you cant put it to words.
And it makes me sad that so many people don't really care about that; it's more immediate gratification than anything else. I don't even know, really. I can't say what other people want out of their relationships.

But I constantly seek something genuine. An unspoken feeling between you and someone else, even if you don't know them that well.

Thats what you left me with.
That, an extra set of sheets, one amazing pillow, and one of the best friendships I think I will ever have.

Happy birthday. I miss you always, and I loved you more than you might have known.