Awake but sleeping

Thanksgiving was a success! Lotsa potatoes (very pleased w/ my sweet potato experiment) and veggies and..chicken. who needs our mommies to cook for us?

I love food. and cooking. and I really think I will be going to culinary school at some point.

But on a side note. Talked to Chloe tonight for a good 2 hours. Its been a good month or so since we've talked. something other than 2 page text messages, at least.

It was a nice mix of "seriousness" and hyperness, which is pretty characteristic of our relationship anyway. We got into some serious art-talk, which Im always a fan of (in a non-pretentious way). Ive been wanting to hear about her work for months now. Apparently she's gotten into huge drawings, which is so uncharacteristic of her and her tiny ass little sketchbook work. I think that's pretty impressive, to push yourself so out of your element. I need to do that more often.

We seem to share common frustrations w/ our processesthough --and it was helpful to vent. I doubt it will lead to any immediate break throughs, but you never know.

Anyway... art thoughts:

So for my final series I want to do animals in some way. Why animals? I think mostly b/c I find them amusing. But I am interested in the idea of group dynamics/behavior and how I can use them to portray "the human condition" (bah) , I guess you could say. But what exactly does that mean?
Got me. (I guess that's the point.)

I’m reading this book called Art and Fear, and you know, i think at the root of all discontentment, restlessness, sadness… there is some sort of fear. Maybe most "introverts" have fear that they recognize, and extroverts have fears that they choose to ignore or look past.

What are we all so afraid of? Im still trying to figure that out.

If I could put these thoughts in terms of my own life, it might be easier for me to grasp. Unfortunately, I never have a complete understanding of what is going on inside my head. Lately I've been so wrapped up in a hundred different things i feel really out of touch with myself.

Generally, I find myself so disinterested in most things (academic, anyway.) I barely engage in the things I do or with the people I meet (minus a few, thank god!).


Boredom. Longing. Inaction.
Maybe that's the new human condition.