Gabrielle

Nothing and no one can add or take away your greatness, 

your beauty as a human being in this world. 

That's something that was said in today's workshop I facilitated with the GAGV.
The workshop went SO well! Surprisingly so. But still...It weighs heavy on my mind, for a few reasons.

I suppose I had a lot of anxiety in general about it. Knowing all the preconceptions, misconceptions, and overall negativity some students have about the topic..or frankly, the straight up ignorance that often runs rampant among teenagers in general, had me on pins and needles not knowing what to expect from the discussion.

This made me nervous not only as the "host" of the Gay Alliance and the facilitator of the workshop (have you ever had to quiet a room of angry, uncomfortable highschoolers?), but as a not-so-openly kind of...probably....gay woman who is still working through questions of identity. Sometimes painfully so, as tonight demonstrates.

I didn't want to be the one to "enlighten" my students. And I guess part of me didn't want them to make the connection.

...I'm still struggling with this shit? ...is this normal?

I don't know about "normal" but I didn't realize my tendency to get pretty bogged down by my sexuality questions,  until tonight when I caught myself thinking about it for what must have been at least an hour.

I have no conclusions to really make about this topic. It seems I'm fine with "being gay" in the abstract sense, until I need identify myself in some declarative, concrete way.

Reasons I will never do online dating (Tinder is reason enough, but dropdown choices are dumb and confining.)

The saga continues....