Like a Cat Power Song, Wednesday Morning Narrative.

"How did you know?" 

Id like to say it was instant, but I don't know if I believe that we are always capable of feeling such a magnitude of things immediately, not consciously anyway. Beauty is complex; and grace and magnificence often hide in intricate realities. Something "Instant" would rob us of something much, much richer.

There's something to be said for intuition, that's for sure. I knew right away there was. ..something. Something about her I couldn't put my finger on, probably because I was so distracted by how I felt in my bones and in my belly. Something deeper than outward attraction or mystery or even the neurotransmitters in my skull firing like lightning bugs in July.

It was the eruptive blossoming of a feeling that would one day manifest into sounds of laughter and words like, "love." And later, phrases like "rest of my life" or "grow old together." But that's not something the belly knows when it's churning. You can't do anything but live in the moment, take the plunge, and hope your limbs magically untie when you finally hit in the water. Who's to know in that moment, or the many moments that eventually lead up to the definitive clarity that certain and true love brings. 

Was it chemistry? Certainly. But that assumes and understanding of something I couldn't quite grasp and frankly didn't want to. Chemistry is just a word we use to make sense of the things we feel - the things we know to be true. This year has been a series of little moments of truth that permeate my being. Each leaves a kind of mark that carries you into the next. 

Now, amidst a storm of excitement and butterflies and eagerness I still feel almost constantly, the word that comes to mind is....calm. 

That's how I know.