Life sucks sometimes.
Aaaah. I'm SO fucking mad at myself for not going home in February like I had planned. (I guess it was a good reason at the time wanting to wait, even though we STILL didn't fucking go in April.)
You have never *not* done something or gone somewhere because I couldn't (which is the healthy, normal thing to do). And there have been enough times where I couldn't that I can say this with certainty. So why the fuck do I constantly do this?
Once again, I wasn't 'being my own person' and thinking of myself as a functioning individual with my own life, priorities, or however you want to put it, and doing what I probably knew I should have done even though you couldn't go. Maybe a little of it was avoiding my family, and a little of it was me not being myself.
And now I can't fucking handle the thought of going home for a funeral...when I should have just been going home to sit and watch CNN for an hour, make fun of the commercials, and talk about random things.
You have never *not* done something or gone somewhere because I couldn't (which is the healthy, normal thing to do). And there have been enough times where I couldn't that I can say this with certainty. So why the fuck do I constantly do this?
Once again, I wasn't 'being my own person' and thinking of myself as a functioning individual with my own life, priorities, or however you want to put it, and doing what I probably knew I should have done even though you couldn't go. Maybe a little of it was avoiding my family, and a little of it was me not being myself.
And now I can't fucking handle the thought of going home for a funeral...when I should have just been going home to sit and watch CNN for an hour, make fun of the commercials, and talk about random things.
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