In a word:

confused.

-----------

I feel close to you....and then, you.
And then, not so much. It's a back-and-forth I am familiar with.

also, I don't know why but I think sometimes I get to a certain point that I try to find little things I 'dont like' about someone to try to convince myself I am not growing attached to them. This is a new realization...but it wouldnt surprise me if it's train-wrecked a lot of other situations. Who knows, really. it's a minute concern at this point.