only took 2 days.
I stopped trying to figure him out a long time ago, but being home just stirs up old emotions.
There's nobody that makes me feel more frustrated and horrible about myself than my dad. I can't quite understand why that is. He's just so good at not caring (or at least seeming like he doesnt), not providing, and not encouraging.
If I feel confident or sure of myself, one conversation can obliterate all of that. Usually pertaining to 'life decisions'. His indifference, apathy, whatever you want to call it is sometimes nauseating...
This is probably really unfair of me to say all of this--
I love my dad to death, and believe it or not he is one of the few people I can talk to about things--I just can't help but wonder why someone could be so lazy in life and with their kids.
If I thought he was a deadbeat, it wouldnt bother me. What bothers me is to see someone with so much to offer just give up and go through the motions. I think you gave up a long time ago, and I really wish I couldn't see that because even though I dont want it to, it does affect me.
I think you lead an empty life. And I don't want to be like you. Maybe that's the saddest thing about it.
There's nobody that makes me feel more frustrated and horrible about myself than my dad. I can't quite understand why that is. He's just so good at not caring (or at least seeming like he doesnt), not providing, and not encouraging.
If I feel confident or sure of myself, one conversation can obliterate all of that. Usually pertaining to 'life decisions'. His indifference, apathy, whatever you want to call it is sometimes nauseating...
This is probably really unfair of me to say all of this--
I love my dad to death, and believe it or not he is one of the few people I can talk to about things--I just can't help but wonder why someone could be so lazy in life and with their kids.
If I thought he was a deadbeat, it wouldnt bother me. What bothers me is to see someone with so much to offer just give up and go through the motions. I think you gave up a long time ago, and I really wish I couldn't see that because even though I dont want it to, it does affect me.
I think you lead an empty life. And I don't want to be like you. Maybe that's the saddest thing about it.
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