Keep on testing me, testing me.

This week has been extremely taxing, in so many ways. I think I have a tendency to absorb negativity from others a little too well.

I work damn hard to be positive. It takes a lot of work, but I'm doing it (after many months...or years of being VERY negative. Something I don't like about myself). This week was very trying in that way, too. Staying positive when 1) you're surrounded by negative people and 2) when you have some really awful news thrown your way and you panic.....which normally leaves you doom-spiraling yourself. 

I know that I'm in a good place because this week I could feel myself unravelling a little bit. Sounds contradictory, I know. BUT- I haven't felt like that in a long time. It was scary, but oddly comforting to know that I have had my shit together somewhat this whole time. And more importantly, that I won't keep spiraling until I get to a bad place.
Yes, this is me having some control over my thought process. And yes, this is me being proud of myself. 

I don't feel the need to go into any more details (maybe later), but  I know I have some things I need to process at some point.